2012年9月7日 星期五

How to Attract Good Karma


Introduction

I was a really stupid kid. In addition to getting mediocre grades in Spanish class, not listening to superiors, and turning down Lucy Haines for a date (she is now a model), I would venture out to a local farm and partake in late-night cow tipping with my friends.

Sure, "boys will be boys," but it did generate bad karma for me. Let me explain. When I got a bit older I realized the error of my ways and got a lot smarter. I studied hard in college, got a decent job, and invested in a Smart Car. It is safe and energy efficient. I worked hard to shed my stupidity.

The karma police did not forget my old stupidity. One morning I strolled out of my apartment to find my Smart Car tipped over on its side. Some would begin having mixed feelings of anger, bewilderment, awe, self-pity; but, I did not engage in any of these emotions. I knew exactly why this had happened. The cows had their revenge. The irony is I had installed a sensor for tip-over protection. Too bad they don't make sensors that alert you of committing acts that will generate bad karma.

Why did I relate my history and Smart Car anecdote? I needed to segue into my article and to illustrate its purpose. Some positive karma is obviously needed in my life; so, with no further ado, I will relate some tips to better economize your fuel purchasing.

Take another mode of transportation

The day my car was tipped I walked to work. I figured it would give me time to reevaluate my situation. Walking is not that bad. I figure you could walk, bike, carpool, or take public transportation instead of driving. You can get some exercise, save money, and save wear and tear on your car. Visit the Public Trans. Associations Web site to see how convenient it is for you.

Get a new car

More and more fuel efficient cars are produced each year. Monster trucks are no longer en vogue (now there's Ultimate Fighting), so look for a hybrid or other fuel-efficient car. What ever happened to the electric car?

How prime is premium?

Use the grade of gasoline that your car needs. I know you're proud that you can afford the extra forty cents a gallon to buy premium (which equals $8 for every 20 gallons), but if your car does not specifically need it, there is no benefit.

Slow down Speedy Gonzales

Wind resistance increases with increased speed. Let me do some math for you (don't worry, I majored in English). Every ten miles per hour of speeding costs you 15% in fuel economy. So, for every 1,000 miles driving (gas being about $2.50 a gallon and getting 25 mpg) you would save $15 by going 10mph slower. I know it is a lot of math (eww), but think of this over the course of a year.

Chill on the hills

Don't you feel like going faster up hills? Well, this is a stellar way to burn a lot of gas. Maintain the same speed. You will save yourself a plethora (told you I majored in English) of gasoline. The conversion changes from getting 25mpg to like 4mpg when accelerating up a hill!

See into the future

I have a friend who loves to race people to the next red light and stop sign. He is the big winner of wasting gas. Every time you employ your brakes you are eventually using more gas. Look ahead and stop acceleration and coast to the stop sign or red light. Do you live in the city? If you are at a red light, is it likely there will be another one in 10 seconds? Why are you racing to that light? The guy next to you may feel cooler because he beat you to the next light, but you will feel cooler when you have more money in your pocket (to buy those $300 designer sunglasses of course - no, don't do that).

No loitering allowed

Did your wife or girlfriend just go "run in" the store? Are you leaving the car on because you think they will be "right back?" Do you know you are wasting gas? Turn your car off if you are going to let it sit idle for more than a couple of minutes. The theory that it costs more gas to start a car again than to sit idle ranks right up there with explosions in your stomach from pop rocks and cola (don't do it!). If these allegations were true than cows can cast spells...

And ladies, I am not being biased, it is not that men don't enjoy shopping as well, it is just that women are too smart to sit and wait for us with the car on.

Heavy load

Every 100 pounds can reduce your fuel economy by 2 percent. Are you living out of your car? Rent a storage space instead. Also, get that drum set and sound equipment out of the trunk; your band broke up well before Metallica cut their hair. Clear out anything from your car that does not need to be there.

The AC does turn off

I have a friend that uses the AC for company. We are getting him help, but I digress... Unless it is extremely humid, turn off your AC. Running the AC forces your engine to work harder. Save your engine to burn gas efficiently. You know those cold packs? Try sitting on one while you drive if you are hot. My friend gave me that tip...I know, we are getting him help.

Ask for directions

I am not doing a comedy routine here about how men never want to stop and give directions, but do you know why that bit is so cliché, because it is true. Instead of driving your car and anxiety levels extra miles, why not just stop and ask for directions when you are lost. Navigational systems have helped with this conundrum, but there are still those (you know who you are) who refuse to rely on asking for directions. These are the same people who call those 800-numbers for their astrology fortunes.

Don't go tired in checking your tires

Deflated tires will cause more friction on the road and in turn, cause your engine to work harder to acquire speed. Check your tire pressure every week to every other week. You can get the gas attendant to check; they appreciate checking oil, washing windows, and gauging tire pressure for no additional money (hint, hint). You can find the pressure for your car on the driver-side door threshold or in the manual.

Take your car for check-ups

Proper car maintenance is vital to fuel efficiency. Bringing in your car for regular checks will keep your fuel efficiency potential optimized. This is something that is underestimated by most because they fear that they will have to spend money by taking the car in for a check-up. The longer you wait, the more likely something may go wrong and wind up costing you more money in the end.




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